i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
