it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
