Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
