I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
