It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
