yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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