My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
