She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
