It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
