we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
