so that wasnt chicken after all
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it because I queefed?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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