You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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