Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I smell stomach acid.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
