Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
