Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
