Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
