I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
