Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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