Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
