I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize