A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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