Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
