Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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