you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
