the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
