Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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