its not stalking. its research.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
