dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
