from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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