is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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