State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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