TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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