addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
