so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
