Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
