I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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