He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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