Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
