3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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