I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
