words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
