i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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