I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
