Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
