worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
