This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
All the doctor said was why
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
