glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
