I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
