1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
