I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
