Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
