Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
