Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
